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These are colorful terms I often use (but not the most colorful ones.  🙂 ).   Almost all are playful words picking on myself.  Be sure to return here often to enjoy a laugh at my expense… I enjoy it too.

“Ah Crap” or “Ah Shit” … Famous last words said when you discover your great plans were not quite good enough.  It happens to the best of us.

Assumption – Assume.  Some thought that you use to jump to a conclusion you could not reach otherwise because the data is incomplete.  Sometimes, and often after experience an assumption is correct.  However, the sad case is: “to assume is to make an ASS out of yoU and ME”.

“Can’t wipe his ass with both hands”:   derisive term I use to describe people that put down those that build and create and have no ability except to talk and put down others.

“Dog Leg:”  A very crooked path between two points.   I comes from the term:  “Crooked as a dog’s hind leg”.   Sometimes misused by me when I mean “hockey stick”  (See elsewhere on this list).  Sometimes used to mean a sharp turn.  i.e.  “I took a big dog leg on my trip to your house.”

“Eye Infection”…. See “I infecton”

“Hockey Stick”:  A term I first heard used by Al Gore to describe an exponential growth function.  A graph of this type of function starts out climbing very slowly, but eventually climbs very steeply.  The population of rabbits is a good example of this type of graph where 2 breeding rabbits quickly produce 4 and that quickly produces 12, 24,.. 48… etc until you are up to your ears in rabbits.  (pun intended.)  (BTW I don’t believe Al Gore and I definitely don’t buy his solution.)

“Hope and Poke”:  Used to describe me operating some software I have yet to become familiar with.  “I will poke on this thing and see what it does… sure hope it works.”  Again usually making monkey sounds while I do it.  (See Monkey with a Typewriter”)

“I infection”:  The self-promoting type of person that talks about what “I” did instead of giving the credit where it really belongs…. what “We did”.

“KISS”:   “Keep It Simple, Stupid”.  The philosophy we will use on our projects.  Later, you may choose to do it some “better way”, the the principles will remain the same, just you will possibly use better and more expensive equipment.

“Knock this thing in the head”:  Means finish it and be done with it.

“Monkey with a Typewriter”:  Originally a story used to sell evolution.  “If you had a monkey banging away on a typewriter would it eventually type space a space forming a one letter word?… If it was given long enough would it eventually bang out a two letter word?  A three letter word? If you had billions and billions of monkeys over billions and billions of years would they eventually type the Encyclopedia Britannica complete with index?”   I use to to describe me trying to learn new skills and often making mistakes while learning the skills.   Usually I make monkey sounds while doing it.

“Noggin”  — Slang term for head as in.. “What is it going to take to get this through your thick noggin”

“Talkin’ Heads”  — News commentators on television.  (Held in very low regard by your’s truely.)



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